Ticket To Ride, Chapter 20: Something like a pier is a frustrated bridge…

il_340x270.362357155_ti5jTherapy Session Three

Elizabeth

 

“As we walked toward the pier I wanted to stop and write down a short poem that’d begun composing itself in my head but I knew she would consider it an inconvenience. I’d grown so far out of touch with my true self that I would compromise even this small bit of inspiration to keep the peace.

If I’d insisted she would have seen me in a different light, the old light, and the end wouldn’t have come so soon, or not at all.

Her initial attraction to me was my poetry.

I think she’d grown to see it as being trivial or maybe I was seeing it that way.

I’d read some Dylan Thomas the night before and now, walking toward the end of the pier, above the sea and parallel to a rocky point, I felt compelled to write about the briny, saltsun sea, of mermaids and mermen, starfish and spindrift. But if I stopped I’d shatter the silence and solemnity of our procession, I thought I would.

But what about spontaneity?

Spontaneity breeds spontaneity, I thought, what a chore.

Better to let her dictate the day.

She’d once said she loved me for my spontaneity; now any deviation seemed like a nuisance, to whom?

Finally we reached the end of the pier, and as we stopped at the rail, I felt a sort of momentum pushing me beyond it, as if it was reaching  toward a non-existent other half.

We faced each other in the process of turning around.

‘Beautiful day,’ she said.

‘It is.’ I replied.

‘You know Morgan… I need to go.’

‘I think we passed a restroom on the way out, let’s go back.’

‘No… I mean… I want out of the relationship.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I think it’s… well… I think it’s the best thing… it’s like… our bridge has become a pier and… you know…  that thing that Joyce said about piers.’”

“What did James Joyce say Morgan?” Dr. Nolan asked.

“Something like a pier is a frustrated bridge.”

“Nice of her to end it poetically. She sounds like a strong person.”

“Yeah.”

“Did her strength scare you?”

“I guess it did. I retreated.”

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